THIS IS A RANSOM DEMAND ON BEHALF OF SCRUFFS.
{SOCIETY OF CHUB RIGS, URBAN FREEDOM FIGHTERS}
IN ORDER FOR THE “MISLAID” RIGS TO BE RETURNED UNMOLESTED,THE FOLLOWING REQUESTS MUST BE MET BY MR D. LEWIS.
1. WHEN ENTERING THE DRAW LOCATION HE MUST BE POLITE AND CORDIAL TO FELLOW ANGLERS.
2. WHEN HE DRAWS HIS CUSTOMARY END PEG/FLYER, HE MUST STATE THAT “HE IS THE LUCKIEST ANGLER HE KNOWS!”
3. ON RETURNING TO THE RESULTS VENUE, HE MUST BE MODEST AND NOT STRUT IN LIKE A “BANTAM COCK”
4. WHEN BEATEN OFF THE NEXT PEG, £1 SIDE BETS MUST BE PAID PROMPTLY, NO EXCUSES WILL BE TOLERATED
5. ALL WINNINGS OFF AFOREMENTIONED LUCKY DRAWS MUST BE SHARED EQUALLY WITH HIS LOYAL TEAMMATES.
FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE DEMANDS WILL RESULT IN THE “EXECUTION” OF SAID RIGS. PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE WILL BE SUPPLIED.
IF ALL DEMANDS ARE FULFILLED, THE RIGS WILL BE RETURNED TO MR LEWIS ON THE FINAL ROUND OF THE HANKAT WINTER LEAGUE.
Yours truly,
A.N. ANGLER.
PP. SCRUFFS.
