Simple Match Fishing Forum

Yam bloody useless - I've just managed to sign in




TK

OM BACK

TK rang me up today to help sort you out and he said "He is as crap on computers as he is on the bank"

Glad you got it sorted

What you mean 'Glad you got it sorted'   

Aw, leave dead peg alone, Ive missed him.... even if he is three cans short of a four pack

See im,e back on this telly box,and youve all started abusing me Simple i had a computer company round.TK computers have you heard of them Simps

TK computers have you heard of them Simps

Does that stand for Totally Kerput

Help Desk: "Hello.  may I help you?"

Dead Peg: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble logging in to the forum."

Help Desk:"What sort of trouble?"

Dead Peg:"Well, I was just typing , and all of a sudden the words vanished."

Help Desk:"Vanished?"

Dead Peg:"They disappeared."

Help Desk:"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Dead Peg:"Nothing."

Help Desk:"Nothing?"

Dead Peg:"It's blank; it won't let me type anything."

Help Desk:"Are you still in the homepage, or did you get out?"

Dead Peg:"How do I tell?"

Help Desk:[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
"Can you see the Log In box on the screen?"

Dead Peg:"What? A log in a box?"

Help Desk:[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Dead Peg:"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't let me type anything."

Help Desk:[Ah--at least he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if he's kicked out his monitor's power plug?]
&quot oes your monitor have a power indicator?"

Dead Peg:"What's a monitor?"

Help Desk:"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Dead Peg:"I don't know."

Help Desk:"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Dead Peg:[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

Help Desk:"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Dead Peg:[pause] "Yes, it is."

Help Desk:[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Dead Peg:"No."

Help Desk:"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Dead Peg:[muffled] "Okay, here it is."

Help Desk:"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Dead Peg:[still muffled] "I can't reach."

Help Desk:"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Dead Peg:[clear again] "No."

Help Desk:"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Dead Peg:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."

Help Desk:&quot ark?"

Dead Peg:"Yes--the light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Help Desk:"Well, turn on the light then."

Dead Peg:"I can't."

Help Desk:"No? Why not?"

Dead Peg:"Because there's a power cut."

Help Desk:"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]"A crappity smacking power cut? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Dead Peg:"Well, yes, I keep them in the garage."

Help Desk:"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the shop you bought it from."

Dead Peg:"Really? Is it that bad?"

Help Desk:"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Dead Peg:"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Help Desk:"Tell them you're TOO crappity smackING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!"

Nice one Mugger

.

Ace

Mugger morton you put anymore abusive comments about me on here again,and i will send a police constable round your house

What time of night do you call this.....................!!!!!!





I thought you'd gone to heaven again

Mugger morton you put anymore abusive comments about me on here again,and i will send a police constable round your house 

Cor blimey geezer, not the old bill?