Corny Jokes Part 1

[cheslynboy]

Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya
talkin into an envelope for?
"I'm sending a voicemail ya
fool!"


Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a
Labrador.
"Blow that" says Mick, have you seen how many of
their owners go blind?


19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why
so many of you?"
Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."


The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off
with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.


I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a
grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking
about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still
walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!


My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I
went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.


I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I
could check her balance, so I pushed her over.


I start a new job in Seoul next week.
I thought it was a good Korea move.