a christmas tale [keep it going]

joffmiester · #121

and with one forward move lloydy fell over his costume and at that point the dwarfs scarped with the two ring leaders woodhouse and jim jam at the front like a mini version of batman and robin

straight down the towpath through h/plant hire and out on to the road

quick said jim jam" if you get on my shoulders i'm sure we will get in B&Q"and thats where they headed too

#122

They soon changed their minds when they saw Mother Care. Grumpy and the other dwarfs were that impressed they all went in and bought new outfits. Grumpy bought a pair of size 2 pink wellies to match his...................................................................

joffmiester · #123

small manhood still anything would look big to a dwarf

:othe other one brought a makeup bag and some bling bling the rest just cross dressed ::) ::) ::)but lloydy was soon back on the trail

#124

Lloydy received a lifetime ban from Mother Care but he soon found the scent of Grumpy's newly bought perfume and was hot on the chase. He found them carol singing outside a house in Rothley and...............

...............

#125

While 5 of the dwarfs were singing Grumpy and Dopey were round in the back garden stealing the owners ducks to.......

#126

go with lots of other stuff they pillsaged from a nearby General Store. They now had the full quota for their version of:-
Twelve lagers a boozing
Eleven cans of corn
Ten roll ups a whiffing
Nine cans of Spam
Eight Daiwa Trentmen
Seven tins of dwarf beans
Six ducks a plucking
Five Gold Flake
Four calling girls
Three french letters
Two sacks of spuds
And a turkey off Joff's tree.

They all went off, still persued by Lloydy, to the mother of all yellow stream ups at...........................................................................

joffmiester · #127

make them squeal like a pig the dwarfs soon run off closely followed by 23 ducks all hell broke out when the tank commander heard the commotion

when suddenly.......

#128

There was a resounding BANG!
Grumpy had put his hand in his little pockets and pruduced a short stubby thing. It was his Diddy Gun.
This quietened everthing and the dwarfs regrouped, piled into their little Noddy car and set off to..................................

#129

Ocker Hill with no fookin cafes open, what are the lads gonna eat for brekkie after a sesh on boxing day

............

#130

The little crappity smack arrived very hungry at Ocker Hill. With no no fry ups to go at they got back in their little Noddy car and zoomed up to Truckers on the A5.
While the crappity smack were at Truckers (what a poet!) they rung up a midget who was at Ocker Hill and got a draw.
After belching and farting their way through the bacon, beans, mushrooms, eggs, sausages, tommies and fried bread, they raced back to Ocker Hill and found............................

#131

That Truckers is fookin closed an all (done me homework

lol) so they are hungry as crappity smack and not very happy

........ can see someone making a few bob on a butty van if they have them in Ocker Hill or is it Mcds

as a final resort ?? do they have them on the way down from jct 10 the lads asked .......... :( ::)

#132

Sorry about that. Can't see the A5 Truckstop being closed though.

#133

So as the lads give greasy lils a proper wide berth and starve to death ......

the christmas tale continues ......... christmas eve 2moz the dwarfs will be full of merryment and .......

cheslynboy · #134

ABBOTS ale and mince pies and looking forward to ...........................

#135

But the dwarfs were one BIG step ahead to avoid starvation..

They went to the spar near junction 10 to get a BIGGGG breakfast baguette with bacon,sausage, egg, mushrooms and.....

#136

Things are looking up with this BIGGGG info

.........many thanks

off to google earth to find this mouth watering outpost of saviour at chrimbo time

.........

joffmiester · #137

after a top fill of the biggest breakfast they had ever seen one of dwarfs realizied the fuel in the doddy car was empty

they had to steal another one so they went off into the truckers park but with only one thing on there mind

#138

They nicked this van and it was crammed full of tanks with small aquatic life in them. The van also contained mases of newspapers; to save space they wre wrapped up in little parcels but the dwarfs were well pleased as they had plenty to read.
They opened one of these papers on page 3 and lo and behold there was ..................................

joffmiester · #139

a red faced page3 girl with BIG lady lumps

this sent the dwarfs out of control the little packs were thrown all over the place and that wasn't the only trouble they were in with a quick look in the mirror one of the dwarfs saw SHREK runnig behind

and ......

#140

The van soon run out of petrol in the Wigan area. Funnily enough there was a midweek match on with over a thousand competitors.

The dwarfs weren't going to miss this opportunity and started selling these little paper packages out of the back of the van. There wasn't quite enough to go around and anglers got involved in a 'highest bidder' scenario.

Some were changing hands for £10; the ones with the racing pages in £15 and page three packages were fetching double that.

The dwarfs soon had loads of money and they bought another diddy car, piled in and set off down the M6 back to.....................................