a christmas tale [keep it going]

joffmiester · #81

start a family with yet on the next shelf down there was a

#82

huge box of mini Mars Bars so Grump bough them as a special treat for the other six dwarfs for their Christmas dinner..

He then can out of Woollies, get in his mini and went to............

harry911 · #83

asda where the beef was half price again

joffmiester · #84

plus 54 cans of carling for £20

then he rolled around the corner to

#85

the pet shop to buy his missus a new rabbit for chrimbo

where do you stick the batteries in this he said

the pet shop owner said " your in the wrong shop but there is a Ann Summers just around the corner" so off he went only to discover .......

#86

That the shop was full of midgets and pigmies who were................

#87

over the moon due to getting a free case of carling from a corner shop in leicestersire...they arrived at Joffs to find the big Ogre and the tank commander....

harry911 · #88

getting stuck in to something that

#89

looked like writing numbers on pieces of paper. Was it a raffle; was it the new adjusted cheaper VAT cost items or was it ...................................................

joffmiester · #90

tank commander said what VAT we never pay VAT in fact we never pay any bills[just shows what women know about business]suddenly there was a loud laugh from a very small person slurping the last of the carling

suddenly the tank commander had the dwarf in a head lock

squealing like a pig he granted the tank commander three wishes

#91

Her first wish was granted, - some strange looking sticks, bits of string and colured things with wire stuck in the end were given to a few gnomes in the Leicestershire village they live in.

Wish number two was...........

joffmiester · #92

Her first wish was granted, - some strange looking sticks, bits of string and colured things with wire stuck in the end were given to a few gnomes in the Leicestershire village they live in.

Wish number two was...........

have you been on the pop bill ::) ::)

#93

To which a rather retund dwarf replied,

.........................................

#94

No bill.....but if i stick my finger in a bit further it......

joffmiester · #95

it would make a loud scream

i wish

suddenly her second wish was granted it was.......

cheslynboy · #96

Never to see half dead maggots in her fridge again as it affected.........................

#97

Christmas dinner, as darf vader and his wookies were slaving over half the population of Yokelshire on christmas day, but the tight git forgot about chrimbo pudding so gave em all an out of date mars bar to choke on

but who was gonna do the washing up ?? was it darf, the tank commander bless her as she deserved a rest on chrimbo day

or was it .................

joffmiester · #98

that little bloody dwarf who must of found his way in to the tank commanders pocket,but what else had found its way into her pocket

the two pieces of the map

:ohad turned up again these must of fell out of the dwarfs pocket as he was.....

cheslynboy · #99

being frisked for MARS bars ......so he said at the time but was .......................

#100

wrapping his little marigolds round his little......................