"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park down the road" she replied.
"Can you destibe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near rge rees whwn a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me".
"Can you describe him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman!. said the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, " he was an Aussie cricketer".
"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "you worked that out from his accent?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
PHEW!!! 
