My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to the Charity Shop to get all of her clothes back.
A man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole the thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
I Thank You
