Simple Match Fishing Forum

Went to have some English language lessons as no one from up north has a crappity smack clue what they are on about ..........

Joffie thought for a minute............'I know, what better place to have some English lessons.....'

I know this dark haunted castle in the middle of the glens of Scotland where they do elocution lessons.

So, with a bulging wallet that he needed to empty cuss it was getting a bit too heavy for his back pocket, having cashed in a few golden eggs, he popped to the nearest airfield and paid in cash for 747 and within no time, all the SMF crew were landing on a makeshift airfield in the middle of jock land.

Stepping off the plane, Joff............

stuck six fingers up at the assembled crowd..............

12 fingers its jock land if i could of bent 4 on each hand it would of been better we all made our way across the runway to a waiting coach no expense spared it had the lot evena ......................

condom machine (I lower the tone of everything)

So we bought packet after the packet of the coloured ones. blew 'em up and decked the coach out with them as it is Christmas. We set out for.............

The Johnnie Walker factory, singing Oh Come all ye faithfull

hic hic as we all spent far too long in the sampling room where a few home truths started to fly around about the darkest secrets the castle was hiding with in its walls .............

having misheard Joff it was back to the condom machine where..................

Woodhouse was looking for the gay ones with motters helping him when in burst........

none other than 'gay boy' himself..........


They were having a bit of a queer meatin when.....................

Tash walked in to see if he could get in on some action ......

when in the center of the gents toilet stood george micheal woodhouses was in his element george on one arm and ....................

And a cup in the other
Woody was waiting to catch Georges latest release,and then the door opened

lloydy said will be having none of that ,we are here to do a job and get back to the castle ,we need to find out what its hidding but first wheres the kitchen but as he skipped off down the johnnie walker factory something else caught his eye ......................

It was a canal shaped trough of whisky, 16 metres wide with a shelf either side and a deeper section down the middle.
Lloydy said " I'll fish it with a chrysalis and lob hookbait and call it a caster and worm cocktail" ::)

Lloydy was feeling a tad peckish come breakfast time (whats new ! ) so he ordered 12 haggis and a poached egg starter ........

He was struggling after the twelfth haggis and demanded even more haggis. After the twenty-eighth haggis he slammed his eating tools on the table and shouted 'Whats for pud' ................

a sweetcorn cheescake sprinkled with caster sugar.........

suddenly lloydy felt very dodgy  wondering whether to have pudding or not when puke city tons and tons of puke flood down the distillery what we going to to now!! bill said  i know lets get the 10000 turkeys in they will soon scoff all that puke up .lloydy was still on his knee's catching his breath when................................

even more puke flew out, you would have thought it was Christmas heave..............