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Search found 719 matches
- February 1st, 2015, 10:43 am
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Cuckoo Clock
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1397
Cuckoo Clock
The Cuckoo Clock Why females should avoid a 'Girls Night Out' after they are married.... If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humour. The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well...
arthritus
A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the pr...
- January 15th, 2015, 5:10 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Aussie Wedding
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1436
Aussie Wedding
Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a quiet hotel for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?' The drover ref...
- December 2nd, 2014, 5:30 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: robin hood
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1397
robin hood
A teacher asks her class "Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?" Little Paddy raises his hand and says "Yes Miss, It's Trudy Glen" "No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion." "But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen.&qu...
- November 18th, 2014, 4:16 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Nearly became a doctor
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1579
Nearly became a doctor
When I was young I decided to go to Medical School. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered spine are doctors today, while the rest of us are sending jokes via email. :tiph...
smile
A man received the following text from his neighbour: "I am so sorry Bob, I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around; in fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer liv...
- November 7th, 2014, 2:17 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Tiger Woods
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1427
Tiger Woods
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've b...
- November 7th, 2014, 2:12 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Blind Date
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1409
Blind Date
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartme...
- November 7th, 2014, 2:09 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Brain Transplant
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1324
Brain Transplant
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at thi...
- October 18th, 2014, 11:18 am
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: George Burns
- Replies: 2
- Views: 811
George Burns
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked, "Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working, and at your age I think that is remarkable." George Burns said, "I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when ...
- September 30th, 2014, 11:09 pm
- Forum: Football Talk
- Topic: FF WK 6
- Replies: 5
- Views: 900
FF WK 6
jOFF & bILL
YOU GOT A NOSE BLEED YET
I,ve never seen you that high
PS i'm a coward i will not have a go
YOU GOT A NOSE BLEED YET
I,ve never seen you that high
PS i'm a coward i will not have a go
- September 25th, 2014, 5:52 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: this is funny
- Replies: 0
- Views: 754
this is funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPyl2tOaKxM
Please, please, please watch this if you have ever flown to another country.
Please, please, please watch this if you have ever flown to another country.
- August 15th, 2014, 2:31 pm
- Forum: Match Diary / Going Fishing
- Topic: Willow lakes
- Replies: 2
- Views: 491
Willow lakes
Yep ok i know Graham fished a couple of matches down there over the years we have been going
And as far as the jokes go there was this irishman englishman and a guy who use to work for the Anglers Mail ...............never mind
And as far as the jokes go there was this irishman englishman and a guy who use to work for the Anglers Mail ...............never mind
- August 15th, 2014, 9:34 am
- Forum: Match Diary / Going Fishing
- Topic: Willow lakes
- Replies: 2
- Views: 491
Willow lakes
Well the year flies around and its time to go back to Foston in Lincolnshire to fish willow lakes with my mates and possibly have a few drinks :cheers for the next week First point of call on saturday night will be Grantham as all the students have had there A results and the girlies will be out par...
- August 15th, 2014, 9:27 am
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Malaysian model plane
- Replies: 3
- Views: 760
Malaysian model plane
Bill thats slander mine aren't that good
- August 4th, 2014, 2:56 pm
- Forum: Anything Goes here
- Topic: Gelignite fishing
- Replies: 0
- Views: 706
Gelignite fishing
Gelignite fishing Guile. Patience. Judgement. Maybe a dash of luck too. These are the qualities needed to be a top angler. By uncanny coincidence, Arthur Watkins lacked all of them in abundance. At the fag-end of 1900, the miner and two of his mates went off for a spot of fishing in the canal at Wed...
- July 14th, 2014, 3:48 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: ZEN TEACHINGS
- Replies: 0
- Views: 660
ZEN TEACHINGS
ZEN TEACHINGS 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just yellow stream off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listeni...
- July 7th, 2014, 2:35 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: A Girlfriend Called Lorraine
- Replies: 4
- Views: 903
A Girlfriend Called Lorraine
And you moan about my jokes http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/rofl.gif http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/rofl.gif http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/...
- July 5th, 2014, 3:03 pm
- Forum: Match Results, Reports and Blogs
- Topic: WOLVERHAMPTON A.A. 3 DAY FESTIVAL....
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1794
WOLVERHAMPTON A.A. 3 DAY FESTIVAL....
Joff yep it is open to anyone just book on with Paul when the time comes around As if there isn't enough canal cracks fishing it http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/rofl.gif http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabb...
- June 27th, 2014, 11:17 pm
- Forum: Jokes
- Topic: Blonde Joke
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1124
Blonde Joke
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH tony i'm leading him in to a false sense of security as its £2 a match during the festival http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/rofl.gif http://simplematchfishing.co.uk/forum2/images/converted_files/yabbfiles/Templates/Fo...